Sorry Ser, I Tot You Are

Dear Immigration Officer: Do not judge a book by its cover.., because, I am not a book hahaha!

Sa binisaya pa, kung sa ato pa, ayaw pataka dong ha? This was a "funny" incident - at least now, that I am reflecting on the totality of this 'episode'. But, when this was transpiring, I really got so very pissed!

Anyway... here's the story:

My budget airline flight from Singapore landed past 1AM, and my connecting flight to Tacloban is still after 6AM mamaya. It's just 3AM now as I write this, here at PAL's Mabuhay Lounge. You can imagine, I laggardly ambled out of the airplane trying to be my usual jolly self, when in fact I was feeling groggy, short of being grumpy! But I didn't want to be Ebenezer Scrooge! Pa-smile-smile pa rin pag may time!

Okay, we passengers, piled-in, to the OMG mala-palengke immigration area. Ah no, let me correct that. Palengke is wrong. It's more like Araneta Center on a final game of PBA or UAAP - nga lang hindi mga excited bagets ang nakapila, but a crowd of zombie-like sleep-deprived passengers.., hence, grouchy!

Paano ba naman, we arrived at a time na dumating din yung flights from Korea at China - at Japan pa yata. And there were only 4 Immigration Counters - 3 processing foreigners and 1 lang for us Pinoys!

But I was not at all that irritated lining up. There were only 7 Pinoys ahead of me on the line (sus hello, wala yan kumpara sa Taipei o Bangkok). I was more of shaking my head sa pila ng kawawang turista, ang haba! There were sooooo many of them, I could not imagine how long they'd have to inch on that zigzagging line, at such an unholy hour of the day. All I could think was, "salamat na lang Pinoy ako"...

Then, eto na..,

All of a sudden, an angry-looking (and ugly, punggok, putot, putad, of an) immigration officer in his all-black outfit made sutsot! Yeah, sosyalin my Taglish, di ba?! He said "ssst you, go to the other line, this one is for Filipinos only". I did not mind him. And I just focused on the immigration counters up front.

It might have been a passenger behind me that he was yelling at. Although actually, in my mind, I was saying "patonginang government employee na ito, kung maka-sutsot at makasigaw, aakalain mo mga alila nya ang mga pasahero". There are better ways of saying that! But I tried to drop him off my mind.

So okay, usug-usug, pakonti-konti, makakarating din tayo dyan sa immigration na yan...

Eto na, just about a minute or two, si ulikba andyan na sa tabi ko at the other side of the pisi, shouting on top of his lungs: "you, I already told you, go to the other line this is for Filipino Passports only"! Ang lakas ng sigaw nya ha, kinalasan ako! Even if his head is just the height of my shoulder nasindak ako!

Ang baho kasi ng hininga nya! Mana, kabaho iya hunggab, atara manda! Napa-atras ako!

Napikon na ang iyong prim and proper old Pinoy Traveler...

Also on top of my voice, I exclaimed (shouted actually): WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM, I KNOW HOW TO READ YOUR SIGNAGE AND I'M IN THE CORRECT LINE! GUSTO MO ISUNGALNGAL KO ITONG PASSPORT KO SA BUNGANGA MO? HA? BA'T BA AKO ANG PINAGDIDISKITAHAN MO? NAGAMAYAN KA NAKO? HA? HA? BAKIT DI KA NALANG MAGTATAK NG PASSPORT PARA BUMILIS ANG PILA? HA?

Da! I know I passed my Cebuano Language Tutorials with flying colors - plus Waray, plus Ilonggo, but I learned here, pag galit na galit na galit na pala ako, Tagalog din pala ang namumutawi sa mga labi ko!

Now my dear fellow travelers.., I'm not saying you also do that. Huwag tularan! Napikon na lang talaga ako at hindi na naka-pag-pigil. Mind you, even if very fast, it was a calculated move. 1] Nasa tama ako at mali ang unano na yon. Nag-pataka lagi sya! 2] I was entering my own country. If for example, pinag tulung-tulongan nila ako to find fault in me, saan nila ako idedeport, eh bansa ko ito? I can call Atty. G!

By the way, while speaking (shouting also actually) to that 'midget' immigration officer, I could see via my peripheral vision, that all of them "men & women in black" were either smiling giggling or laughing. They're the ones who know me or familiar with me as a frequent passenger. Mactan pa, that is where you find the friendliest jolliest immigration officers of the country. Well, exception si newbie punggok!

Teka lang, I sensed na parang gusto pang magmalaki at magrunongrunongan si unano. But alas, his supervisor came out of their room (sa kanan), waved at me and said "happy new year dong". Seeing that, this bati'g nawong said 'aw sorry ser, I tot you are'. Yes folks, I understood what he meant hehe!

To which I retorted with, 'you are ka diha', ayaw sige pataka 'pre...

And off to the real immigration counter I went.

Haaay, ang sarap kutusan! I was actually not offended by him mistaking me for a foreigner, common na yan in my life. What got into my nerves was his daring self-entitlement of shouting at passengers. Kung maka sigaw, mura bitaw siya tagiya sa akong kaldero. Even if I was not Pinoy, I think he has no right to yell, holler or shout at any passenger. Use a megaphone if need be, don't scream angrily at us.

Which reminds me, ganyan talaga karamihan ng Pinoy especially in government service. They equate "authority" with dictatorship. Yung feeling nilang pwede ka na bulyaw bulyawan dahil "authority" sila? Most of them are yun mga kaka-hire lang "kahapon"! Madami pa rin yan ngayon, all over the country!

OTHERS ME! As in ibahin mo ako! Eh in this unfortunate case, yung ulikba na yun, hitsura pa lang nya, mukhang galing sa huron! Wag nyang sabihin na wrong-side-of-the-bed sya gumising, dahil di pa ako nakakakita ng kama maguumaga na! Tangina how dare he yell at me or any other passenger? Kayasa ba! What government handbook or presidential decree authorizes him to angrily shout at passengers?

Anyway, lampas ala-tres na, I won't be able to sleep na at this Mabuhay Lounge. But I just wrote on my 'to-do list': "next international flight, bring a hotel mouthwash at i-regalo sa immigration officer na yan"!

Pwerteng baho-a sa iyang ba-ba oi! Hihimatayin ka pag nasapul mo ng langhap!

Happy New Year, Da!


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